Saturday, February 16, 2008

Get Yourself An Egg And Beat It

Inspired by Sassy (because that's a nicer reason than saying she ripped off my idea in the first place), what follows is The List of Foods Normal People Eat But Which I Will Avoid If Given The Option and Would Happily Go The Rest Of My Life Without Eating.

1. any member of the squash family
2. baked, mashed or hash-browned potatoes
3. raw tomato, or any cooked chunk larger than a dime
4. saffron
5. bell peppers
6. jalapeno peppers
7. chili peppers
8. you get the idea
9. cucumbers
10. lettuce in condiment form
11. raw onion
12. cole slaw
13. mushrooms
14. whatever Sloppy Joes are made out of
15. tuna
16. and pretty much any other fish
17. whipped cream
18. anything "blackened" or in any way charred, deliberately or otherwise
19. pastry dough
20. celery
21. watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew, etc.
22. capers
23. cocktail sauce

11 comments:

The Saucier said...

You have my full support on number 21. Otherwise, I find your list to be that of an insane person – an insane person who must be very, very hungry.

warren said...

If you go to hell, it will probably be the level that is a salad/taco/baked potato/sushi bar. I'll save a seat for you there, in my Nirvana, eating my bagel and lox with capers. Mmmmmmmmmmm

Stephanie said...

3 & 10. Lettuce in condiment form makes no sense to me. You put it on a burger, and it turns into a soggy mess of something that makes me want to gag. There is no reason to ruin a good sandwich with lettuce. Or, God forbid, a tomato.

14. I think there are tomatoes involved. Which is also the problem with 23.

21. Melons suck ass.

katherine said...

You and Sassy must be a pleasure to wait on.

RJA said...

Hey! I told you when I started my list series that one of my lists was going to be about my food weirdnesses.

If you hate cocktail sauce, why do you like the crab dip we have all the time? I have witnessed you not only eating it, but saying it was "so good."

How does bread girl not like pastry dough? How does bland-food-dairy girl not like whipped cream? It makes no sense!

Cream puffs. Mmmm.

Sweet Sassy Molassy said...

Oops, that was Kristy. I didn't realize I was logged in as RJA. He'll eat anything.

RJA said...

Now you know why SAM is so quiet, because of the feeding tube that's keeping her alive.

Stacey Greenberg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
warren said...

What's keeping Sassy alive?

Kristy said...

Tomatoes, peppers, and capers. And spaghetti. And cheesecake. All kinds of stuff, really. I eat a wide variety of foods! So suck it!

Stacey Greenberg said...

i think the list of the foods you LIKE might be shorter.

i keep thinking about you at the beach, with a giant grilled fish before you, and the fact that you never said a word.